There is nothing wrong with you, brother.
You want to end the depression, not your body’s life.
Since you’re a spiritual guy, I’ll give it to you straight: Use the depression. Right where you stand now is the meat of the path.
All who walk the path are in some sense wounded healers. We heal ourselves and in doing so heal others. That is the meaning of harmony.
It is not a one and done event. You don’t just snap out of depression or “become” healed. Healing grows to be a way of life. In Buddhism, that is called compassion.
The Bodhisattva Way has been likened to being a kind of spiritual warrior. To constantly stay and face these challenging experiences, to actively allow them to soften us, to dare to love and weep or laugh and embrace, this requires a warrior’s bravery.
If you stay, exhale, and attend to the depression, then you will digest it as you continue to walk the path. It will make you softer, braver, and more loving. Sometimes it hurts.
An excellent place to start is with daily meditation and tonglen. These are two essential practices. By all means, use all resources at your disposal, be they therapists, psychiatrists, or acupuncturists.
But this is not a flaw for you to be rid of, a monstrous or unacceptable thing. It is human suffering and you are not alone in it. In practices like tonglen, for example, you would inhale all the depression you are feeling and exhale love and kindness and compassion. Then you would broaden that to anyone who has ever felt depressed, and you would breathe in their depression and exhale compassionate goodness to them all.
These practices help to show us how strong and loving we can really be. A book I would recommend is The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with the story of how Eckhart Tolle became realized but essentially he was alarmingly suicidal and then realized one night that the self he wanted to kill wasn’t actually him. His book The Power of Now is worth a read.
I could also just mail you a book if that’s helpful to you.
If at any point you feel I can be some help along the way, you know where to find me.
Namaste, much love.